God is teaching me about my own value. I have value. I am worth so much more than I give myself credit for.
I have been depriving myself of value for years. I wouldn’t let people touch me, because I knew they didn’t want to. “They only want to hug me because society says they have to. I don’t want to force them.” I wasn’t worthy of any physical attention of affection. I wanted hugs so bad.
I don’t talk to boys. And when I do I keep them at an arm’s.length. “Bekka. Stop talking to him. He doesn’t want to hear your stupid thoughts. Back off.” And.those are just guys who are my friends, not the ones i’m interested in.
Those guys are out of luck. If I like them I will never tell them.because they wouldn’t like me back. That’s just how it goes. And even if by some mistake, they do like me…I’m not worth their efforts. They need to find someone prettier. Someone funner. Someone more confident.
It’s gonna.take forever…but I need to learn my value. My view of myself is seriously warped.
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